The gift of listening and how to become a better listener

Have you ever experienced what it’s like to be truly listened to? When you lose all sense of the outside world and feel so deeply heard and understood? You sense a complete absence of judgement and a profound connection. It makes you feel safe and inspired to open up and reveal your true self without needing to hide anything. If you ask me, it’s one of the greatest gifts someone can give you.

Listening, of course, is one of the key skills in coaching. I have always loved listening to others, but I learned to listen on a whole different level in my training. Experiencing the magic of active and deep listening, both as the listener and the one being listened to, is something truly special. But there’s no reason we can’t use this in our daily lives with friends, partners, family, and even strangers. I promise you’ll be amazed by what happens.

Here are some tips for how to become a better listener:

• Let go of any judgement, and keep yourself out of the story. It’s about them, and understanding and learning more about their experience. You may have different opinions or ideas, but that doesn’t mean you need to share them or persuade the other.

• Don’t think about how you’re going to respond or how you appear when someone tells you something. Simply be curious and focus on them. Ask questions to learn more, and trust that if something needs to be said, the right words will come naturally.

• Be as curious as possible. Ask open-ended questions, and give them plenty of time and space to answer. Don’t rush to fill the silence. If you’re concerned about coming across as too nosey, say that you’re just curious and ask if it’s okay to ask them something.

• Pay attention to their posture, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Reflect back any observations you notice to show you’re really engaged.

• Avoid giving advice unless they ask for it, and don’t try to solve their problems. It’s natural to want to help, especially with people close to us. But offering unsolicited advice can undermine their ability to figure things out for themselves, blocking the conversation. Often, people simply want to share their feelings and be heard. If they do ask for advice, be cautious—sometimes, asking thoughtful questions that bring them clarity is more helpful. And if you have a suggestion you feel is really too good not to share, ask if they’d like to hear it before sharing.

I'd say go ahead and try out listening more to the people around you and see what happens! And do let me know if you have some nice experiences to share :D I hope you liked this blog post and till the next time.