The Power of Self-Love Practices: Why It Matters and How to Cultivate It

Do you cringe when people talk about loving themselves and say that the most important relationship in life is the one you have with yourself? I get it—I used to feel the same. But you know what? If this makes you uncomfortable, you’re probably the one who needs to hear it the most!

Loving yourself just as you are has nothing to do with arrogance, thinking you're better than others, or making excuses not to grow. It’s actually the foundation of a happy, fulfilling life. Yet, society conditions us to believe we shouldn’t think too highly of ourselves—that we should just struggle on and push through, criticising and doubting ourselves, stuck in fear and anxiety. We’re taught to wait for external validation or achievements to feel worthy of love. But it’s not something we have to earn; it’s our birthright. When we truly embrace ourselves with kindness and acceptance, we unlock inner peace, resilience, and joy.

Mirror work is one of the most effective self-love practices

Why Is Self-Love Important?

Self-love shapes every part of our lives—from the way we set boundaries and handle relationships to how we chase our dreams and deal with setbacks. When we truly value ourselves, we:

• Build stronger self-esteem and confidence

• Feel less stressed and anxious

• Support our mental and emotional well-being

• Attract healthier, more fulfilling relationships

• Develop a positive mindset and greater resilience

• Live with more purpose, joy, and authenticity

Self-love isn’t just a nice idea—it’s the foundation for a happier, more balanced life. 💛

10 Self-Love Practices by Louise Hay

Louise Hay, a pioneer in self-love and personal transformation, outlined 10 powerful steps to loving yourself. These self-love practices can help shift your mindset and bring more compassion into your daily life.

1. Stop Criticising Yourself

Criticism never leads to positive change—it only brings us down. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, start acknowledging what’s right. Praise yourself for your efforts and progress, no matter how small. Even when things don’t go as planned, you might feel a little bruised, but I bet you’ve learnt a lot in the process. Don't let your ego take over. We need to learn to accept all parts of ourselves, particularly those parts that we reject and make us feel vulnerable or ashamed. Let the light shine on them. As Carl Roger once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

2. Stop Scaring Yourself

I'm sure everyone is familiar with times when you've made up a story about something small and ended up completely freaked out. Maybe you said something at work and later felt paralysed by the thought of how others must have perceived it. Whatever you do, stop yourself as quickly as you can! Sit down and observe the stories you tell yourself—without getting dragged into them or judging them. Instead, simply watch your thoughts with curiosity. Then, question them: Is this thought true? Can I absolutely know for sure that it is true? If not, there’s no point in fantasising about it and scaring yourself unnecessarily.

Instead, try to reframe your thoughts in a more positive way and calm yourself down. So, instead of thinking, "They will think I'm stupid," replace it with a kinder statement like, "They might not even remember it," or "Everyone makes small mistakes sometimes, and that’s okay." Shift your perspective to something that soothes rather than fuels your anxiety. With practice, you’ll become better at catching these thoughts before they spiral, giving yourself the peace of mind you deserve.

3. Be Gentle and Patient with Yourself

Growth takes time, and life can be challenging. Instead of expecting perfection and immediate results, celebrate every bit of progress and focus on creating new nurturing habits. Be aware that change will come with its ups and downs. It will likely feel uncomfortable at first as your mind wants to go back to what is familiar. It takes time to create new neural pathways - which are like new roads in the brain. The more you practice the new way of thinking or acting, the stronger these pathways become, and the more natural it will feel over time. Repetition is key!

4. Be Kind to Your Mind

Your thoughts do not define you. Instead of judging yourself for having negative thoughts, practice radical acceptance. Rejection of any thought or feeling will just make things worse. That doesn't mean you should believe every thought you have, but rather become a non-judgmental observer. Mindfulness has been my lifesaver! It helped me to observe my thoughts without attachment, allowing me to let go of guilt, shame, and self-judgment. But I'll talk about that in another blogpost.

5. Praise Yourself

We are often quick to point out our flaws but slow to acknowledge our achievements. Make it a habit to recognise your strengths, efforts, and successes. Let go of the need to be perfect and appreciate yourself for showing up every day.

This has never come naturally to me, and many of my clients feel the same way. However, I try to do this while practicing mirror work (see step 9), and it’s been incredibly effective! Try to do this as much as you can for a while and see for yourself what changes.

6. Support Yourself

Loving yourself means allowing others to support you. Reach out to friends, family, a coach, or a therapist when needed. Gosh, this was a really tough one for me. I grew up in a home where emotions weren’t openly discussed, and as a highly sensitive child, that was a heavy burden to carry. I learned to detach and keep going, hoping the heaviness would pass.

But over time, I realized I couldn’t do it all alone. Learning to open up and ask for help was life-changing. Many people struggle with this, fearing they’ll be a burden. But depending on others when needed and being vulnerable with the right people strengthens our connections, helps us process emotions, and brings us back to ourselves. We were never meant to do it all alone.

7. Be Loving to Your Negatives

All your negative patterns once served a purpose, even if it no longer serves you today. Instead of blaming yourself, acknowledge that your past coping mechanisms helped you survive. Now, it’s time to cultivate healthier ways to meet your needs.

8. Take Care of Your Body

Your body is your home for the rest of your life—treat it with respect and care. I think it is greatly important to engage in activities that nourish you physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, I think a lot of our bad habits are coming from the need to escape pain and other uncomfortable feelings. But true healing happens when we allow ourselves to fully feel them. Once we learn to be with all our emotions, we will liberate ourselves truly and you will have no difficulty with doing the right things like exercise, eat nutritious foods, and rest when needed. (I think particularly rest is so underrated!) Figure out whatever works for you.

9. Practice Mirror Work

Look into your own eyes and affirm your worth. Say for example, I love and accept myself unconditionally. Give yourself compliments for all that you are and do and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Offer yourself the same kindness you would give a dear friend. Have you ever noticed how we’re so much kinder to others than ourselves? Though this practice may feel uncomfortable at first, mirror work is a deeply healing practice.

When I first tried this in my coaching training, I didn’t feel much at all. But I kept going, and before long, it brought me to tears every time. At first, I probably didn’t believe what I was saying. But over time, the words started to sink in, and I was finally able to give myself the love and reassurance I needed.

10. Do It Now

Don’t wait for the perfect moment to start loving yourself. You are worthy of love right now—regardless of your past, your appearance, or your achievements. Embrace yourself fully, as you are, in this very moment.

Final Thoughts

Self-love is not selfish—it’s essential. The more you love and accept yourself, the more you can give to others and live a life of joy and purpose. Start today with small steps, and watch how your relationship with yourself transforms. Which of these steps resonates with you the most? Share your thoughts in the comments below!